RICKY BOLETO
- Leah
Written by Leah
We are Ricky and Leah, two news reporters, passionate about travel, architecture and design, we love sharing our lives through journals, blogs and stories of places we have visited.
And I found my thoughts drifting towards feelings of envy, envious of other mum’s who still have their mums. I suppose in some ways it's healthy to explore a feeling, whether it’s negative or not.
It’s been 365 plus days being mum to Enzo and I’ve loved every minute of it.
But it’s been a lonely, tough existence too. I haven’t been able to call on my mum for advice, show her pictures of our baby for her to dote over, laugh or cry over things that have happened.
For a while I’ve felt angry, and like I said - envious of what I didn’t have. Like in the newborn days, when I really didn’t know how to settle Enzo, mum would be here with her experience, her warmth and love - to help ease our panic.
And while my early thoughts were in a huge haze of sleep deprivation, emotional turmoil from pregnancy and sheer fear of looking after a tiny newborn… all of these feelings have taught me so much about myself. I’ve felt a shift in power.
It’s not easy being a Mum full stop. But I’ve become a mum after losing my mum and peacefully laying her to rest. And. I’m. Still. Standing.
Although mum isn’t here in the physical sense, to change nappies, burp, feed, cuddle; she created something in me that I’m passing onto Enzo and I’m only just realising.
She created a home so cozy, I always wanted to be there, a table full of food, I always wanted to eat, a house full of fun, we always laughed. And today, along with Ricky I pass this on to Enzo - who laughs, eats and finally sleeps (for now). And I thank you mum. Today and always.
It’s not easy being a mum for anyone. But I’ve become a mum after losing my mum and it hasn't killed me.
- Leah
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We are Ricky and Leah, two news reporters, passionate about travel, architecture and design, we love sharing our lives through journals, blogs and stories of places we have visited.
Great news you have a blessing and addition to your family. You have and will always be in my prayers. So sorry to hear your loss.
Love from
Rosaleen (hannahs mother).
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